I just finished the STAND by Stephen King and it’s caused me to let the mind wander on all the books, movies etc that I really SHOULD have seen or read by now.

I mean, it wasn’t until about a year ago that I saw Sound of Music ( I know *gasp*), and only a few years before that that had I seen classics such as Casablanca, It Happened One Night, or Godfather 1 & 2.

When I first moved here I worked a couple of jobs, one of them being an employee of the now gasping for breath Blockbuster. There was a gent in cooperative employ named the BADGER. Named so because of his constant nagging to fellow cohorts and victims…err shoppers about what they SHOULD be watching. The Badger honestly knew everything about movies, and from a person that has seen A LOT, I mean EVERYTHING.
He said to me one day “I’m jealous actually.”

“Of me not seeing these movies you go on about?” I replied

“No, that you get to watch them for the first time!”

He had a glint in his eye, and a maniacal smile that caused me to watch Casablanca that very night and come back to him with that same grin of understanding that comes with watching, or reading something beyond the norm.

So with that. Here is a list of things that I have not read or seen that really, I should have by now.

The Hobbit

Now. I know. Firstly I’m a geek, and a proper good one at that, how could I have NOT read the Hobbit.

Honestly I didn’t know better.

My foray into fantasy started with choose your own adventure books, dungeons and dragons and then the Dragonlance Chronicles, which is essentially Lord of the Rings distilled into easier reading for my young mind and a heckuva lot more action. I read the Lord of the Rings trilogy only a couple years before the movie came out, and I’m ashamed to say, found it to be rather boring.
Don’t shoot me! I know that without IT, then the others that came after may not have existed, and for that I respected it, just was bored by it.

Any of the Narnia books past the first one.

I read the first one and loved it, but it was a radio play version of all the books that I listened to after that. The stories were amazing, along with the sound effects and voices (although the character of Aslan sounded less like a lion and more like a warbling giraffe). I found myself driving around in endless loops just to finish a disc, and I burned through the entire series auditorily, but sadly have yet to read the series (which I intend to do!).

Once Upon a Time in the West.

There are a lot of movies I haven’t seen (shoot just throw a dart at the AFI’s 100 “passions” and you’ll hit one). I had my fill of the artsy, angsty, early scorcese films during college. I’m a notorious adventure wonk. I could care less for drama, even really good drama (and have no taste for anything dealing with the Victorian age, except for a few Highlander/Buffy flashbacks mind you). I’d rather have Michael Dudikoff in another American Ninja iteration than watching a morally ambiguous character bemoan life. I’m not a fan of Easy Rider, Raging Bull, Taxi Driver, Chinatown, etc. and the other tripe that people tried to ramrod down my throat as genius. Much like bubble gum tastes, Art is subjective, and my taste bends toward Watermelon bubbalicious.

That being said, the art house goons and the geeks alike tend to love Sergio Leone, and from the other films of his I’ve seen, I love him too. I just had never seen this one. My buddy D showed me the first few minutes and I was scratching my head wondering how in heavens name I had never watched this thing, cuz it looks amazing (even if Clint Eastwood isn’t in it, though there is the next best thing - Charles Bronson).
(funnily I thought there would be more movies that people would be aghast that I hadn’t seen, when looking at various lists I realize I may have seen them all, aside from the occasional drama, that really, YOU have never seen either).

Anything that was taught in English.

I remember being in a english class that extolled the virtues of Moby Dick, Great Expectations and a few more that I could not bring myself to read. I was too busy with sword and sorcery, or Pennywise the clown to be even remotely intrigued by white whales or sobbing orphans. I did however have graphic novels of various classic books that got me through most quizzes and tests.

But as I get older I realize that I kind of lament not reading some of the classics. Here are a few…

Count of Monte Cristo
Fahrenheit 451
Moby Dick
Great Expectations
War and Peace
Pride and Predjudice
Of Mice and Men
Anything by Kerouac or Hemmingway

(I did read 1984, Animal Farm, and Tom Sawyer, which I like well enough and got into an argument with Mr. Berg on the virtues of Dune, in which he looked at me and said “I will never read a book that comes with it’s own dictionary in the back” - I promptly transferred out of his class)

Bonnie and Clyde.
Never saw it, which is weird because as my college friends can attest to, we spent a large portion of our first two years watching everything we could get our hands on. It’s something I’ve always wanted to see, and am pretty sure I’m not going to like, but sometimes you need to check out what the fuss is about for yourself (I’m sure it won’t compare to Bugsy Malone Ha Ha).

I have read no Asimov, Heinlein or William Gibson

I believe this might fall into the Geek Vs nerd category I youtubed about. But i have had a bevy of the like minded speak to me of the glories of these classic sci fi writers. I need to break down and read at least one of each, especially considering the obscene amount of garbage I read on a daily basis (the latest R.A. Salvatore comes to mind, Anita Blake books, and far more than I should ever admit to).

So those are a few. Ask me if you think there was a book or movie that I SHOULD have read and I’ll tell you whether I have or not. Or just throw some advice down on any of the above that I should read or watch, I’ll add it to the list of things I need to get done!