Too Early For Flapjacks

Posted on August 28th, 2007 by FitnessPsycho.
Categories: FitnessPsycho.

Okay, so I never thought I’d be one of those equal-opportunity daters. But I seem to be a bit more open-minded when it comes to dating lately. If I sense a connection with someone - despite his history - I’m more likely to entertain a first date. I try to reserve making any judgments until a thorough google-search is completed, and also support the innocent-until-proven-’he-has-baggage’ theory.

I recently met a guy for coffee. The date was engaging. Conversation was balanced and full of variety. Vibe was relaxed. For a first date, it felt like a second date could definitely be a possibility.

But then I Googled him. Come to find out, he had a wife who died less than 9 months ago (the day before Christmas, of all days) from a brain aneurysm at age 23!! My immediate thought was, “Is this too early to be out dating again?”

I’m all for second chances, but I gotta be honest, I think this is a red flag. I got an email from him requesting a second date. So I’m asking for your opinion…

Do I go on a second date or simply let the thought of this one die (sorry, perhaps that was a bad choice of words.)

17 comments.

Jeremy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

I say yes…why not! Or maybe I’m saying that because I want more blogs lol.

But I figure if anything maybe he’s trying to heal and this is your chance to let him know that dating isn’t scary…do it!

FitnessPsycho

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

I think you just want more blogs. I’m not against dating a widower, but c’mon - the grave is still fresh! You’re supposed to support me in finding a good relationship - not send me into the danger zone. LOL.

Jeremy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

The danger zone is a cool song by Kenny Loggins, thereby translating into a cool experience. WHO KNOWS where you might find love!!!

Skedoozy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

9 months is a long time. He’ll always be grieving so whether it’s now or later that’s not going to change. Just take it slow and see where it goes. Oh and stop googling people. It’s creepy. Or at least don’t mention that you’ve done it to the people you’re dating. “Oh I googled you. Sorry about your wife..” *awkward*

Jeremy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

hahah…that’s pretty funny

princessjax

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

Oh geez the power of “GOOGLE”.
Here is what you should consider… prior to Google info were you excited to have a second date? Take those feelings and move forward from there. Who knows why you two were put into each others life but why not go on a second date and see what could be possible.

princessjax

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

Though who am I to help… I had a 14 hour date with an amazing guy who I then told ” You aren’t ready to date me yet”… geez… idiot move a la moi.

sabrafox

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

Princess, people never stopped grieving. However, often the first step to moving on with your life is to, well, move on with your life. I say give him another chance and just take it slow. He may be lonely and reaching out or he may still be grieving and want to take baby steps. Either way, if the guy seemed really decent, I vote you give him another shot. And don’t mention that you’re stalking him on google.

Jeremy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

sweet I think it’s unanimous…the only OTHER thing I think you should do…IS VIDEO TAPE IT SO THAT WE CAN SEE AND CRITIQUE muahahah!

unclerob

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

no video but def a second date almost a year is a long time i do concur with take it slow

unclerob

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

and yeah the whole google stalking thing kinda creeps me out

princessjax

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

Take it slow and see what happens.
Don’t mention Google information.
Also maybe you read about the tragedy of a guy with a similar name?!?! You never know. It’s not enough reason to NOT check out a second date.

Jeremy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

and video tape it…

Skedoozy

Comment on August 28th, 2007.

I am just gonna toss this out of left field. It may seem crazy. But just try it.

Video tape it.

FitnessPsycho

Comment on August 29th, 2007.

I am NOT video taping it. Geeez.

Jeremy

Comment on August 29th, 2007.

Come on!!! Everyone’s doin it!

jmars21

Comment on August 31st, 2007.

I AM SO late in on the action. Google stalking is completely normal. I had a crush on a lurker one day and we knew only his first name and job. My friend found out his history of ivy league colleges, girlfriends, figured out he used to be a doctor…it was crazy. You can find anything out on google with just a little info…good stalkin’…
oh and im all for a second date!

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