You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry….

Posted on March 5th, 2007 by Jeremy.
Categories: Personal.

i feel myself starting to slip into that “argumentative” mode. Not a constructive place to be, especially when it’s just commenting or getting entranced with various forums that I troll.

That feeling of impending political debates is starting to push through my abdomen like a scene from Aliens and I know before long I’m going to be jawing at the mouth with what “I” think should be done with the country…comic books…LOST.

We are a little less than 2 years from the actual election and the rhetoric and posturing from both sides has already taken flight….grrr.

“*breathe* *breathe* You’ll be okay” I tell myself.

In the last week I’ve been all bent out of shape (thanks Pat and Josh both for helping right me) about some people on a forum I used to frequent. The talk wasn’t political however, though it was as volatile. Yeah… religion.

“Harumph!” I thought. “How much better the world would be if people thought like me!”

I quickly avoid doing work to gaze dazedly out the nearby window at what “might be” . Lands filled with Jeremy ideology, people breaking into song and the absolute expulsion (ie: death by overeating…of Jell-O) of those people that think Veronica Mars should be cancelled

Hah! For a moment I realize how self centered I am…but only for a moment (lest you worry)

Pat has taught me the saying over and over “drop the rock”.  It means to “Let go of the burden, don’t carry a un-needed fight to the tenth round, relax”.

Wise words.

I need to drop the rock something fierce when it comes to these phantom arguments, because there is a part of me that wants to come out swinging, knock down peoples debate and prove them wrong. Real wrong. Like “make you cry” wrong.

“I must stand up for what I believe in!” my mind cries.

But realistically, rarely are people swayed by bombastic verbal attacks, and more than that - I don’t know these people! They could be 13 for all I know, just being argumentative because…well…like I said they are ten (the age when all boys are little anti-christs).

Plus I’m still trying to figure it all out..including my own salvation, politics, take on LOST..”with fear and trembling”.

I find myself, once engaged in that style of argument though, starting to think about something my eyes catch on a forum post, over and over and over again. It’s like when you play Tetris one hour too many and walk outside. Suddenly you start seeing cars flip sideways and interlock with sidewalks and buildings.

My mind thinks of every angle, every possible contradiction to something I say and then…

and then I stop.

What am I doing?

Is this conveying any sense of love to another person, or worth?

I’m not saying you shouldn’t state your opinion. Clarity over agreement, as Prager says, is important.

I’m saying that battling against windmills will only cause you to be fitted for a straight jacket and billed for property damage.

So…Although i’m starting to feel anxious, feel like the world NEEDS to hear what I want to say. I’ll be quiet…

At least for another couple of months or so.

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