I started watching House M.D.” tonight for the first time. The sarcastic and mightily caustic Dr. House is quite entertaining (and oddly refreshing. His acerbic candor is outdated and sadly missed by some of us just looking for clarity of thought in a world of white noise). Though, I have to say, after every prognosis I begin to think that I might have, or might be ready to have the disease or problem that they are looking at in that particular episode.
It’s put me in a strange state of mind reflecting on the fragility of the human existence. I mean, we are merely flesh and as one of my fave authors would say “books of blood” with a strange story to be told within the bindings of our mind and body. We could very well die at the hand of another person, a natural disaster or some invisible enemy that creeps in through our pores or in our mouths just because we didn’t put the milk away a minute to fast.
I’m being paranoid, but it doesn’t negate the feeling of …well…mortality. That clawing, scratching feeling in the back of our cranium that in the end we are all merely, “dust in the wind”.
Thank goodness some of us think that THAT wind might sweep us to far greener pastures where we might find some rest away from the delicate chaos of this cosmically flawed world. At least that is my hope. That, I think, is what calms me a bit. Not because I’m fearful of what might happen, but that I’m HOPEFUL of what might happen.
None of us have real “assurances” I wager. We all take in the information that we’ve been given, we’ve sought out and crunch it within our mental calculator, hoping our batteries aren’t low or we missed a number so that we can get the right answer.
I guess there’s no question here, just rhetorical and mind numbing comments plastered down at midnight, asking myself about the information I’ve gathered. Is that information accurate? Reliable? Real?
That’s our own question to answer. Yours and mine. We make that decision, consciously or unconsciously.
Mine was answered by a carpenter’s son. A man that started going out and speaking about amazing things when he was just about my soon to be age. He made seemingly preposterous claims and acted counter to the culture at the time all the while personifying the best of humanity and the greatness of divinity. “Love your neighbor”, “Do not worry about tomorrow”, “I Love you”, “You are just strangers in a strange land”. Yup, he could have been crazy. He could have been that bad line of code, or that false bit of testimony. He COULD have been…
