STOOOOPID PEOPLE

Posted on August 20th, 2004 by Jeremy.
Categories: Entertainment, FitnessPsycho, Personal, Politics, Rant, Reviews, Story Time.

I got this spam mail from the Mack and I hope…and pray, and really think, that these might be true to a certain extent. You never know where this stuff comes from but I thought this was funny.

How do These People Survive?

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald’s I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. “We don’t have half dozen nuggets,” said the teenager at the counter. “You don’t?” I replied. “We only have six, nine, or twelve,” was the reply. “So I can’t order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?” “That’s right.” So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

TWO
I was checking out at the local Wal-Mart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those “dividers” that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn’t get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the “divider”, looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code she said to me, “Do you know
how much this is?” I said to her “I’ve changed my mind; I don’t think I’ll buy that today.” She said “OK,” and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened.

THREE
A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM “thingy.”

FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. “Do you need some help?” I asked. She replied, “I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can’t get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?” “Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm, too?” I asked. “No, just this remote thingy,” she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, “Why don’t you drive over there and check about the batteries. It’s a long walk.”

FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, “I’m almost out of typing paper. What do I do?” “Just use copier machine paper,” the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five “blank” copies.

SIX
I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in “Twister.” I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the driver had set the “cruise control” and then went in the back to make a sandwich.

SEVEN
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”

EIGHT
Police in Radnor, Pa., interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.

NINE
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid was eating ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and should be fine, the mother says, I just gave him some ant killer….. Dispatcher: Rush him in to emergency!

Life is tough. It’s tougher if you’re stupid.

26 comments.

Amanda

Comment on August 13th, 2004.

Oh geez, I was commenting on the army stuff and found myself writing an article, so I will save you from that….

BUT I am so jealous of you getting your hands on Season One and Two of Stargate!!!! My family never had cable, so I missed so much before they started sindicating it on regular TV. I love that show, and the new one, but really the original is still the best. I am WAY more into it than Skeedozy. Like last week I was tired and it doesn’t all start until 9 so I took a nap and woke up at 11 to watch the second play of it because I was determined not to miss it.

:)

Have a GREAT weekend!!!!

stargatechick!

Comment on August 13th, 2004.

Why you haven’t let me borrow, J, I don’t know. I thought we were down like that!!!
I like Atlantis too, but SG1 is better. But they main guy on the show, the half ancient, is H-O-T hot!!!!!
Makes the show even better!

A OUT

Jeremy

Comment on August 16th, 2004.

I’m liking the SG1 alot. Not Farscape level yet, but I love Oneill, he cracks me up. I’m almost done with the second season and then on to number 3. I think this is the benefit of having no Joss Whedon shows on the air!

Skedoozy

Comment on August 16th, 2004.

Your msn is broken. :/

And don’t get me started on Sherrif Joe. Ugh.

Homadefilms

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

Tee hee hee… ANOTHER prequel… Exorcist: the Beginning. And worse? A remake of a movie that was made just months earlier. And by Renny “CUTTHROAT ISLAND” Harlin to top it off. Ugh.

There’s always Without a Paddle.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

I’d rather take my eyes and shove them up my ass, thanks.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

Wasn’t this posted last week with some big trucks in it??

Jeremy

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

one was about concert, the other tractors…both about backwoods carnivals

Jeremy

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

HAHA

You know what I noticed about the Exorcist trailer though. the music…man that is about as creepy as the Halloween one.

Oh, and has anyone seen the uber creepy trailer for “the SAW”

Skedoozy

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

I know. I’m just giving him a hard time. Good read. :)

stargatechick!

Comment on August 17th, 2004.

Bryan and I were talking about the imagined High-Five ending too. It was the girl, the predator, and an alien, with this song on in the backround, “She’s on Fiya!!” Very, very funny!!

Jeremy

Comment on August 18th, 2004.

and I’m giving you a hard time…:) Next week it’ll be about the best cow utter contests at local festivals.

The thing that I loved about town fairs, carnivals and whatever, was just the freaking unleashed redneckness of it all. In Prescott there were crash up derbys, pig wrestlin, freakin rides that would make me vomit and the haunted house which was fun just because you could scream real loud and no one knew who was doing the screaming!
ahh the memories

fmiii

Comment on August 18th, 2004.

Saw looks really really interesting. I hope it turns out to be as creepy as the trailer leads you to believe.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 18th, 2004.

A. I take no responsibility for the bleeding ear drums that might come because of that song.

B. Episodes 7,8,9. I have always said that he needs to do them but they need to be 100% CGI. 100% I mean the prequels basically are. He hates actors and loves to create all of the performances in post, well with CGI he can do whatever the hell he wants to do. And all you need from Harrison, Mark, and the others are voices. That’s it. If you have erver ween ILM’s WORK IN PROGRESS short you know that the sequels would look awesome 100% CGI. Besides doesn’t George need something huge to kick off his Animation studio he just announced??

C. Emmerich can die.

D. That guy who wrote the Hulk needs 3 editors.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 18th, 2004.

I meant “Ever seen”, and also the guy who wrote the 10 Page Hulk thing. Not Stan Lee. :)

Jeremy

Comment on August 18th, 2004.

I was going to say…are you blaspheming Stan the Man!!!!???

Skedoozy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

I would never hire a lawyer who has a website from 1988 in the year 2004. Emily should sue this guy. He’s obviously not a bright lawyer.

Jeremy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

this is why lawyers get such a bad rap. I mean this is crap. And you know what they are going to do now? There’s going to be website attorney’s that are going to tell people that they can’t write their opinions about people or things. It’s such crap. I mean this is commentary and opinion and I have to worry over if someone can sue me!??? whatever….

Skedoozy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

Well.. I say we just start slandering Jim Carrey on this site til his lawyers show up to shut you down.

SCREW YOU JIM CARREY!! YOUR MOVIES ARE FUNNY BUT ONLY SOMETIMES!!! YOU SMELL LIKE THE DOO DOO AND I HEAR THAT YOU ARE FROM AMERICA JUNIOR! YOU, SIR, SUCK. THAT IS RIGHT. YOU ARE A DOOFUS! YOU ARE THE WORST ACTOR SINCE LIKE CHEVY CHASE. HEY WHILE I’M AT IT CHEVY CHASE SUCKS TOO. YAH!!

I can’t wait til all my enemies get famous so I can talk bad about them without getting sued.

Jeremy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

The person who commented, I like your point, I just wish you’d identify yourself!!! Regardless
You are right. It just sucks. It just sucks that someone can be so mean-O and there is pretty much nothing any of us can do about it. I mean I believe in reaping and sowing and forgiveness for that matter, I just think it’s crap that a friend had to go through that.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

No, it’s a now win situation to lay down and let people roll over you because that’s the “norm”.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

M’eh. Someone always has to show up and tell you to move on because they don’t want anyone to stand up for themselves.

Jeremy

Comment on August 19th, 2004.

Favorite part…”You’ve gotta meet Starlight. She’s the bomb.”

hahhahhaa

Skedoozy

Comment on August 20th, 2004.

Trading Spouces was on FOX. And they stole the name and the idea STRAIGHT from an episode of Dave Chapelle. I mean they called it Trading Spouces and everything. So lame. I won’t watch any of that crap.

And for AMERICAS CLEANEST AND MOST FAMILY ORIENTED channel owned by the company that has these sames tandards to name their show Wife Swap.. it’s just sick and wrong.

It’s like that commercial they had awhile back. The car one, where the two husbands are talking about “Swapping” and the other guy is like “Yer wifes into it?” and then the first says “Yeah, even the kids get into it.” Umm hello? Did you just use sex and pedophilia to sell your car? Yes, yes you did. I’m like the most laid back person ever and I was surprised as hell no one made a stink about that crap. It’s amazing what parental groups will let slide and what they won’t. I guess whoeveres greasing the stone as they say.

Skedoozy

Comment on August 20th, 2004.

What’s the point of letting people walk all over you and use you? You’re probably right, and I don’t know Emily but my heart goes out to her cuz I’ve been in those situations before. She doesn’t deserve to feel the way I am sure they made her feel and I’d sock the guy for her if I could. I’d get sued but I have nothing so it wouldn’t be a loss.

Jeremy

Comment on August 20th, 2004.

yeah it is. this is why you tivo everything and can skip the commercials…TIVO “the bane of advertisers”

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